I felt the urgent need to stop being such a scardy cat and stop avoiding failure because I can't be a better person without even learning how to. The past two nights were the hours I began to question myself on my ability to lead as I kept avoiding to try because I can't fail, and am always feeling that everyone is better than I am.
I've grown, I AM going to change.
Trash talk.
Every flaw that they pin pointed out was my lack of self confidence. But I'm glad that my dearest comm and the maincomm felt that I was capable, and I am a good friend to be with, though I was lacking in self confidence in stepping out because I was afraid of being detest of failure. I have to be more confident in order to become an outstanding tour guide right?!
Interview.
All the maincomms were looking so stern as though they are going to eat me up anytime, and again throughout the whole interview every single maincomm was pin pointing my self confidence. But on the happier note I know all of them wanted me to be confident about myself and to tell them that I can hold onto any responsibility with full confidence. I screwed up the interview and I tried to save myself when the maincomms gave me a chance to at the end. Couldn't help but break down the minute I stepped into the waiting room and lucky Cindy and John quickly diverted my attention and everything that Sze Hui told us about how she became confident made me feel happier again!
HAHA felt that us subcoms became so much closer after this camp! :D I think we are almost 90% as bonded as the maincomms alr. Imagine 8 of us squeezed into two single sized beds and not care how tak glam we are in front of each other. We even used some of their legs as our pillow! LOL. Felt so family with them right now I am alr missing them! No matter how negative the maincomms felt about us, afterall us subcoms were the only ones who are the actual witnesses on every single one of our true identity, not them. As long as within us we know we ain't what the maincomms said and we're there for one another, what's there to be scared of!
